Courtesty of the freshly married Mr David Foster Pilkington, some classified ads that really do say what they mean. Given David is a newly minted husband, pay particular attention to the last one on the list. Enjoy the honeymoon in Italy, David!
These are actual classified newspaper ads:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful
little dog. Bites
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky
neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid
dog
FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out a while..better be a reward.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby
GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.
and finally, the best one;
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything.
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